Time Bombs to avoid in Marriage

In this topic, we are going to deal with some quiet but dangerous things that happens in some homes and must be avoided in Marriage, which I call: "time bombs". This is because if they are not carefully handled and allowed to “explode”, they can destroy, not just the marriage, but the home, children, business, career and even the lives of the couples. They are:

(1) Argument. This is a situation in which two or more people disagree often angrily. Couples can disagree on many things but wise and mature ones do communicate positively instead of attacking and casting blames on each other. Avoid argument like a plaque, never allow it in your marriage, be ready to lose argument, if there is any, never allow it to turn to bitterness, strife and physical combat. Always remember that, in a marriage, the more matured of the parties involve is the one that is ready to lose argument, the win-win party is the foolish and babyish partner. (Proverbs 13:10, 22:10)

(2) Blame (Genesis 3:12) – Another time bomb is “blame”, most couples do blame each other for any bad thing that happen in their marriage, while they always struggle to rake the glory for any success without asserting any to their spouse. This is wrong, learn to praise your spouse for success attained; while refraining from blaming each other for failure or inadequacies, it will be difficult to move your marriage forward if you are fond of blaming each other.

(3) Vengeance – Vengeance has never help, It can never help yours too. Be wise enough to forgive instead of looking for ways to “hit back” at your spouse. Forgiveness is the best way to “hit back” or “hurt” your partner, never allow the cycle of evil to continue, if you fight back he/she is likely going to revenge too then the cycle will continue until it destroys the family. (Romans 12:19)

(4) Criticism/Condemnation: ­They are “twin brothers” and they are evil, they can destroy life and sniff life out of any marriage if they are not stopped. Stop condemning or criticizing your spouse, you can’t bring the best out of him/her that way. The way to bring the best out of him/her is by speaking positively about him, praising him or her, commanding good deed and appreciating noble work. The more you criticize somebody the worst he/she is likely to perform. If excellence is your goal, then stop criticizing your spouse. (Proverbs 18:19)

(5) Reporting: Majority of our married people are “reporters”, they have not learn to sit down together to settle their misunderstanding, instead of that, they do go round to friends, families, neighbors etc to report their spouses, thereby getting wrong counsel about how to deal with issues in their homes. This is wrong, only immature people can do that, if you are a true adult, you will not go around reporting your wife/husband to every Dick and Harry thereby leaking your secrets to outsiders.

If there is any misunderstanding, talk it over with your spouse, if you find it difficult to settle, contact your pastor or your marriage counsellor. Do not forget that talking to God about your marriage and your spouse is the best way to handle crisis at home.

(6) Referring to Old Issues - This also can destroy any marriage. Learn how to forgive and let go, let past issues be past, stop referring to them, never open past wounds it may start bleeding’ again, be wise. (Philippians 3:13) 

(7) Negative Thinking: ­Thinking negatively about your spouse can never help your marriage, it can only destroy it. Think positively about your spouse, do not allow devil to use your mind to destroy your home, never allow your mind to run riot against your destiny, use your mind for a glorious future. (Philippians 4:8)